JOB APPLICANT

A Boss in Hertford town centre was determined not to hire any old Goldings boys in his business as he had noticed the takings had gone up by 67% the week Goldings closed its doors in 67

The Boss also had never liked The Irish which dated back to William of Orange and had been passed down to hate the Irish so he decided to set a test as an old Goldings boy called Murphy from the southern part of the Island had applied for the position as Manager.

The boss set a test knowing in his own mind a thick Old Goldings boy wouldn’t be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'

So Murphy say's, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees.

The boss says, "What the hell's that?"

Murphy says, "Tree 'n tree  'n tree makes nine."

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99."

Murphy stares into space for a while remembering his Goldings days and that never let the buggers get you down attitude , Murphy then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

Murphy says, "Each trees dirty now! So it's dirty tree, 'n dirty tree, 'n dirty tree, dat's 99"

The boss is getting worried he's' going to have to hire Murphy, so he says "All right, question three. The last and final Question Same rules again, but represent the Number 100."

Murphy stares into space again, then he shouts,  "Got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, "There ya go sir, 100." The boss looks at Murphy's attempt and thinks, "Ha! Got him this time." "Go on Murphy, you must be mad if you think that represents a hundred!" Murphy leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, "A little dog comes along and poos by each tree, so now you’ve got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, which makes one hundred.

When do I start me job?"

From Brian Ball 25/7/03